Current Affairs

In the midst of the Supreme Court hearings around two marriage equality cases, I wanted to reflect on how we got here and where we might be going. Many of us who came out in the 70’s or 80’s would agree that realizing we were gay freed us from a path toward conventional marriage. Many of us found our happiness in that difference. We were coming out at a time of sexual liberation and marriage was the last thing on anyone’s mind. 

But we grew up and marriage grew up along side us. We watched a very role based institution evolve and truly for the first time in the history of humankind, marriage became an equal partnership of two people who loved each. We grew up to realize that the happiness of love, stability, family and home are just as possible for us as for anyone and so a fight for marriage equality began. 

It was slow and small for many years and 2004 saw the passage of so many state constitutional amendments banning marriage equality. There was a presidential campaign that focused on pushing us back from our quest. But then as more and more of us felt safe enough to come out and we became just another sister, a cousin, a friend, a co-worker, a neighbor, we stopped being so scary. So the support numbers began to grow at a rapid rate. High profile celebrities didn’t hurt but the real difference was made in our home towns.

I would suggest that during these two days of Supreme Court hearings, with social media and visibility, it is possible the support numbers went up another 1-2% points. Maybe even more?  We do not know how the Court will rule. Will there be a sweeping decision or a partial decision? or at worst, a negative decision? We will know for sure in June. 

What I do know now is that our quest to be part of the marriage culture is certainly not destroying the ever evolving institution. In many ways, we may be saving it. I think interest in marriage was on the downturn. But when something you have is coveted by others, you often appreciate the value for the first time.